2-20-2010 : Series of Imports from a Separate Journal

*** Necessary update. Collin & I separated for about a month last fall. As a result, Darian went back to live with his mom. We are now back together and working to repair the damage, but the engagement has been canceled for now. ***

Let me start by saying that I have always been awful about keeping a journal of any kind even though I really enjoy writing. Today I've been sick and have spent the entire day on the couch with a fever, headache and sinus congestion...not the most fun way to spend a weekend. I've been entertaining myself by watching olympic curling since Collin is on shift all day today and won't be home until midnight or 1am.

I managed to get the energy today to let the dogs out, take a shower and fix myself some dinner...so I'm not doing so bad I suppose.

Collin's ex-wife just dropped his son off for the night so she can "study". Collin & I both know that it's just her excuse to go out partying on a Saturday night, but at least he has somewhere to be where he won't just be ignored. He's been kicking back on the couch in his pj's for the past few minutes watching Harry Potter. I think he's just happy that I'm letting him stay up past his bedtime. Right now he's headed out to the freezer to get us some ice cream sandwiches.

I struggle sometimes with having him over, but I'm doing my best to keep it together. I think it's really just a jealousy issue. I've wanted a baby for a while now, but things just haven't worked out. I look at his mother and how little she seems to care about having a child and it just burns me. Since our best friends had their first baby about a month ago, Collin and I have talked a lot more about having a child of our own, but he wants to be married first. Honestly, I've gotten to the point where I don't care so much about the formalities.

Tomorrow is date day for me and Collin. We were originally planning to go snowmobiling and then go out for sushi, but my cold is probably going to cut the snowmobiling portion of the day out. I think the plan is going to be a nice Weeds marathon and then we'll see about the sushi (the bills are going to have to be done first to see if it's in the budget for the week).

And now men's curling is back on...nothing quite like ending the day the way I started it. I'm very much looking forward to having Collin home for the night.