Well...the last few weeks definitely did not go as planned. Things went pretty haywire and I have wound up just plain exhausted. Over the last 2 1/2 weeks, I've done nothing but work and craft. The earliest I was able to drag myself to bed was 2:30am. It's been grueling. I'm kind of glad it's over. My sewing machine and I are currently taking a break from one another. It deserves a break too. It's been a very hard worker. I'm currently trying to catch up on enough sleep to make myself functional.
The Christmas Project Plan did NOT get completed as planned for the first time in more than five years. I did complete presents for everyone, just not the ones that were originally planned. The list was changed at least three times due to time constraints and project frustrations. Projects got scrapped altogether; projects got changed and completed. It was a juggling act. I'm happy with the presents that got completed and I really like the way some of those things turned out, but I'm still somewhat disappointed in myself. Even completing what I did, I still feel a little defeated...a little like a failure.
To be honest, I think that 2013 just caught up with me. This has been a very difficult year for our family and I've been trying to just muddle through. Even though our wedding was wonderful and it was a very happy time for me, the rest of the year has not been that way. We've dealt with a lot of very difficult situations. I've struggled with depression (some mild, some severe) off and on, as well as experienced a lot of very intense stress. It's caused me to not be around here as much as I would like to have been. It's led to me not sewing, scrapbooking or doing anything project related. It's resulted in me being more than 15 books behind on my reading goals. Most of my time this year was spent attempting to control the chaos that has been our lives and spending any other available time curled up on the couch or on my bed under a blanket just trying to escape the world. It hasn't been fun and it's still ongoing. I'm not sure when we will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
BUT...Christmas was very nice (despite the fact that I tried to chop off the end of my index finger with the food processor and very nearly needed stitches on Christmas Eve). We had Collin's family at our place and it was great to spend time with them. I was able to somewhat forget all of that extraneous crap for about 24 hours and the respite was lovely. We did some experimental cooking that turned out pretty good (and that I'll probably be turning into a post down the line) and we played some games. I really do love our families. We've been very blessed in that department.
And our Christmas still continues. Things got crazy yesterday and there just weren't enough hours in the day - or enough hours to cook our gigantic bird and still have dinner at the originally planned time - and so we are (as my brother says) having Christmas Part Deux this evening with my family. I'm really looking forward to it. I really mean it when I say that there is nothing I love more than spending time with family.
So, even though things didn't go as planned, they still went. That's kind of been the motto for our year. We just keep pressing on. That's all we can do.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Despite it all...we really did.
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