Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Because Sometimes You Just Get a Week of Mondays

So...I've decided that I really need a vacation. Nevermind that I just had one about 2 months ago. The last few weeks have been ridiculous. I feel like I jinxed our lives when I decided that my "one little word" for Project Life 2012 would be "together". Because in the six years that Collin and I have been together, our family has never had such ground shaking struggles.

On August 12th, Darian's mom spoke to Collin and informed him that she had no intention of letting Darian continue to live with us or go to the school that he's been going to for the last two years. We're pretty sure this was stimulated by the reversal of an IRS decision to allow us to claim Darian for taxes. She most likely received a demand for repayment of her 2011 credit and decided that she needed her payday returned. Her motivations with Darian have most frequently revolved around what kind of handout or payment she could receive.

However, with that action, she violated the current custody order. So...since then we've hired a lawyer and we're working to bring him back home...where he belongs. He should have started 5th grade here last Wednesday. Instead, he started at a brand new school district (his 4th in 6 years due to his mother's frequent moving). My heart aches over this. His classmates have voiced concern for him - with one little girl coming home after the first day of school and specifically mentioning to her mother that Darian wasn't there. It makes me so sad. I miss him.

Darian has lived in our home full-time since 2009. (He also spent his first grade year living with us.) He is a part of my daily routine. I have been working with Collin to try and raise him in a way that would help him be the best he can be. He has excelled in school and was in the advanced class last year. (He was slated to continue on that path this year.) He has tried different extracurricular activities and we have encouraged him to explore his creativity with things like reading, drawing and writing (hence his blog posts here). Not having him here has left a huge hole in our lives. It's as if we don't really know what to do with ourselves. I feel lost when I'm home.

After speaking to the lawyer today, we are currently at a temporary stand still. The legal system is definitely not the swiftest moving beast. At this point, we should be able to file for a temporary order sometime in the next two to three weeks. We are currently waiting for his mother's request for a change of venue to process. It's the most frustrating thing. We just want him home.

In addition to that fun, Collin and I are rarely seeing each other. Since we have to pay for the legal case and...well...not having Darian frees up a little responsibility, Collin has been working a lot of extra hours. He's rarely home and he's frequently exhausted. I feel bad that he works so hard while I feel like I just pull my regular hours and then sit at home doing nothing. But, to be honest, my motivation has been lacking lately. Having our family in shambles is tearing me apart.

So...I haven't been uber quippy. I haven't been funny or witty or really even cared. Sounds like fun, right? Hence the lack of blogging. I feel like a complete whiner. I want to be here. I want to be accomplishing things and I want to be posting worthwhile posts. I think about it once in a while, but I've sat down more than once just to give up before I finish.

I didn't realize just how much the little guy meant to me until he wasn't here. He's a huge part of our lives and we just aren't balanced without him. I'm looking forward to having this all behind us and having him back where he belongs...home.

This is what I miss.


  1. I'm so sorry, Lynde. I really hope you guys can get him back soon! I'll keep you in my prayers.

    1. Thanks Jenna. We're working diligently at it, but the legal process is certainly slow. We're just hoping that the outcome is worth the wait.


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