Believe It Or Not, It's Just Me.

Ok. So FYI...I'm giggling at my title. That may or may not be a good sign of things to come. Why am I giggling? Because Collin and I had a full blown discussion a couple of weeks ago about the Seinfeld episode where George changes his answering machine to his own version of the theme song from Great American Hero. Crap. I may have just dated myself. But I will tell you...it's hilarious. Don't believe me? Check it out here. (You're welcome Collin.)

Well, I've put it off as long as possible. It's time to talk about myself. Blegh. But I guess being my birthday week and all it timed out pretty well. Yup, that's right. I'm getting a year older this weekend. Not sure I'm thrilled about it, but I do feel better knowing Erin will be the same age in two weeks. Hah! I love having a friend with such a close birthday. Oh ya, and I'm pretty sure Erin has been mentioned on this blog more than Collin. She just has a knack for fitting in to these posts. It's not a girl crush, I swear. Don't get any ideas Erin.

Alrighty, let's get this show on the road. You should already know by now that this is me :

"This is Me. I like myself photographed better in black and white. My hairstyle changes almost as often as the color has in the past few years. I think I have pretty eyes - my best feature. I like my smile too - a good thing since I'm a dentist. I never take my necklace off - it feels weird if it's not there. I'm self-conscious about my chest. I can look good in certain tops, but low necklines make me nervous that I'm showing too much. My upper arms, upper thighs and stomach are never as thin and flat as I'd like them to be, but I can't give up sweets and good food either. I don't like wearing socks or shoes if I can avoid it. I only wear socks in the house if it's really cold and my preferred shoe is a flip-flop."

My hair is a bit longer now - I actually took this picture last fall. I'm trying to grow it back out, but now I'm looking at this picture thinking "Wow, that haircut was cute." Oh, and you can't tell because it's black and white, but my hair is red in this photo. I've thought about going back to that too. Honestly, the only thing keeping me away from both is the maintenance.

These are pictures of me when I was younger and cuter. Proof that at one point in my life I was a natural blonde.

I grew up in the same town I live in now, along with my parents and two younger brothers. I was pretty much a nerd in school. I was drum majorette in the marching band (I also played flute for 7 years) and graduated first in my class. I stayed local for college and got a bachelor's degree in biology - which I can do nothing with unless I want to go work for Fish and Game. Then I moved to San Francisco for a three year stint in dental school. Blah, blah, blah, now I'm a dentist with a gigantic pile of student debt. Yay for fun!

I hate scrapbooking myself (mostly because I hate having my picture taken) but I've made a conscious effort to do some pages about me over the last few years. So, lucky you, I have scrapbook layouts to help me tell my story. You know the drill (FYI...totally not a dentist joke)...

"This picture was taken in Las Vegas in October of 2006, just as I began to discover the real me. Coming out of a failed marriage and learning to be on my own again, I started to realize that I could live for myself rather than for others, as I always had. The result? A more outspoken, confident and happy me. Granted there are still moments of uncertainty and self-doubt, but overall I love the new and improved me."

I was married for six years when I realized that our marriage just wasn't what it should be. He had more or less disconnected. I gave him the chance to save it by getting us scheduled for counseling, but he didn't take me up on the offer. So I filed for divorce. The above picture was taken the week my divorce became final. I started dating Collin three weeks later. Funny how life works out.

"I guess we all have an alter ego hidden somewhere...for me it's online. I started using the handle Elle sometime in 2006 (taking it from the "L" starting Lynde) - something easy to remember, but still useful as a disguise to hide behind. I guess I just always figured that Elle was the more fun version of myself - the way to break out of the goody-goody shell that everyone expected out of me. And so now, even though I'm always Lynde in real life, it's nice to think tha tI'm a bit more outgoing and outrageous than my normal self - that a piece of Elle has rubbed off on me."

So there you go, now you know my secret. My name is really Lynde (pronounced Lynn-dee), but it's too hard for people to pronounce and spell correctly, so online I go by Elle. I just like it better that way.

"This is one of my favorite pictures of me...more specifically, this is my favorite picture of my hair. Ask anyone in my family and they'll tell you how obsessive I am over my hair. I just can't leave it alone. I'm always changing the cut, changing the color, trying a different style. Unfortunately, I'm usually not happy with it...as my family will tell you is usually the case whenever any major event or picture taking is supposed to take place. I'll spend hours in the bathroom fussing with it and grumping about it. But looking back at all the pictures of me over the last few years, this is definitely my favorite. In fact, I've decided that I am working back toward this style. Not too short, not too long, and simple enough to style. That's just the way I want it. Now, the black and white doesn't help me - I'll still have to figure out the color, but at least maybe I've settled on something that I feel is really me. And if I can find the outside that is me, maybe there's still hope for me figuring out the inside that is me..."

"5 Random Facts About My Life. I hate wearing socks. I picked dental school on a whim. I've had 5 dogs...I have 3 of them right now. My favorite color changes all the time. I love to read."

I really do hate wearing socks. In fact, I'll mention it one more time before this post is through. They drive me bonkers. I always go barefoot in our house and generally in our yard. I'll wear flip flops whenever I can. I did pick dental school on a whim. I had originally planned on going to medical school to become a pediatrician. But I decided I didn't want to be in school that long or have a job that I thought would make it too difficult to have a family. I went to my childhood dentist around the time I made this decision. He said I should go into dentistry. So I pretty much did.  I have had five dogs: Loki, Keisha, Piper, Harley and Sadie. Loki was my dog when I was really young and we didn't have him for long. I don't remember him much. We got Keisha when I was twelve. She was an awesome dog and super sweet. She passed away a couple of years ago. I still expect her to come running outside whenever I go to my parents' house. And you've already met the other three.

                                     Loki                                                     Keisha

And now the nitty gritty...

"Being Me. I don't like getting up early. I love Jelly Bellies. I often forget to wash my face before bed. I hate it when my hair won't cooperate. I could spend every day scrapbooking. I only like shirts that go all the way down to my hips. I want to travel to Australia. I love spending time with Collin. I am a perfectionist in nearly everything I do. I like learning. I can change moods in the blink of an eye. I need to live near my family. I love PF Chang's Shrimp with Candied Walnuts. I don't like to wear socks. My favorite color is blue. I would like to go back to college for a degree in English or Creative Writing. I wouldn't mind living in Canada. Fingerprints on stainless steel and rub lines on suede furniture drive me crazy. I have over 10,000 songs on my i-pod. I hate spiders. I have wanted a baby since I was 24. I add Tang to orange Gatorade to make it more orangey. My favorite moves are Love, Actually and Across the Universe. I miss my dog Keisha nearly every day. I have seen every episode of Gilmore Girls at least three times. Fall is my favorite season. I have to have mayonnaise on my hashbrowns. I love to read. I sometimes don't brush my teeth. (I rarely floss.) I love my house, but not my neighborhood. I talk to my cat (all the time). I can never have enough scrapbook paper. I would much rather be a passenger than a driver. My favorite room in my house is the library. I need a vacation about every three months. I like musicals. I would wear flip flops every day if I could. I love to swim. Halloween is my favorite holiday (for the chili). I am very smart, but can be very dumb when it comes to common sense. I hate to run. I like picnics. I never suntan, I only burn and then fade into a suntan. I love photography. I like to watch hockey, rugby...and curling. I am afraid of heights."

Tada. You now know a load about me. The most random group of things you could ever gather. And okay, I may be a little buzzed in this photo, but it was taken at Island Park. Don't judge me. At least I was having a good time. There was also some pretty damning evidence in that one. I put down that my favorite color is blue. Well...if you were paying attention earlier, you noticed that the layout before says that my favorite color changes all the time. As I was typing this stuff in I seriously stopped and went "Blue? No it isn't." So proving my own point. FYI...current favorite color...who the heck knows?

Also, I disclosed that I don't always brush my teeth and I rarely floss. Before my hygienist friends yell at me (Erin) I will elaborate here. There are days when I don't brush my teeth, but it's generally when I'm sick or just over the top lazy. Most of the time it drives me absolutely crazy not to brush my teeth after I shower. The flossing? Okay, ya...I'm not an awesome flosser. But, I do have a Sonicare toothbrush which I say meets me somewhere in the middle...and I'm a dentist so my word is gold here. Oh, and FYI...I have no fillings so I'm doing something right. So there.

"How to Take Care of Me...Tell me that you love me, every day. Cuddle with me on the couch. Keep the kitchen sink clean. Watch a "chick flick" with me. Tell me I look pretty. Clean the dog kennels without being asked. Take me out on a dinner date. Make the bed. Go scrapbook shopping with me. Stop by my office just to tell me hello. Turn off the cell phone once in a while. Surprise me by making dinner. Save some time in your week just for us to be together. Ask me how my day went. Squeegee the shower. Give me a hug. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper. Clean up your coffee spills on the kitchen counter. Stick with the budget. Enjoy a bubble bath with me. Take the trash cans out to the curb. Sleep in with me on weekends. Go grocery shopping with me. Call me in the middle of the day for no reason. Help do the laundry and put clothes away. Go to bed at a decent hour. Leave work at work and let us enjoy our time together. Plan some fun things for us to do on a long weekend. Feed the dogs."

This may seem like a silly list, but it's all the things that Collin does for me (some more than others) that make me happy. These are the things I need to keep me happy through the day. I am neurotic about the kitchen sink. I hate having dirty dishes in it and I like to keep it wiped down. Pretty sure that's my mother rubbing off on me. I hate cleaning the dog kennels so it's always nice when he does it. I like having him call and check on me during the day - usually it's the other way around. It's just nice to know someone's thinking about be. I don't think I'm that high maintenance, but I definitely have a pile of things that can make my day.

"I Forgive Myself...for not being perfect...for sometimes struggling to say the right thing...for taking time to be lazy...for leaving laundry on the counter...for having "hot spots" in the house that need cleaning...for sometimes losing control of my temper...for expecting too much of others...for struggling to like myself...for not walking the dogs as often as I should...for taking the easy way out and making microwavable dinners...for not telling my family often enough that I love them...for not liking my job...for being tired at the end of the day...because at the end of each day I need to realize that I'm doing my best and that's all that I can do. Though I sometimes feel guilty for taking time for myself, I need to recognize that it's okay to regroup, catch my breath and keep myself going on to the next day."

Everyone has faults and no one is perfect. I saw a post done in a magazine done on this topic a few years back and thought it was pretty important. So now you also know the bad things about me. But, they still make me who I am. And I guess I'm okay with that.